I Never Thought
I never thought I’d be visiting you like this:
a carrier bag, aerosol of pledge, water in a bottle.
I never thought it would be like this, at a garage,
buying flowers, carnations that you always loved.
I never thought it would be, if I have time,
after work, before another drive home.
I never thought I’d be alone in an empty car,
a bag of mixed blessings juggling in the boot.
I never thought or believed this would be me,
I can only imagine that you would feel the same: strange.
I never thought I’d be driving through the gates
and down the slow path to your graveside.
I never thought there’d be days when I forget you.
I never thought, I never thought, until now.
‘The Excellent Will Be Permanent’
(Aristotle)
I’ve had my hand in fire.
I’m cut, aching. My teeth are clamped.
The headache’s fixed,
flagged across my skull.
Clichés, catch phrases, inhabit me,
“it takes time”.
You will be remembered,
recalled.
Your loss batters me.
Loving you brought the greatest joy,
losing you fills my mouth with acid.
The Ring
There’s a ring in a box,
I see it on your crumpled finger,
ruby red, bold
and you were dying.
There’s a memory in that box
and I recall it
fresh as a paper cut,
smarting at the edges.
There’s a message
half-finished on a wall,
making no sense,
words abandoned,
for some reason
we will never know.
There’s a tangled up dream,
I can’t put your finger on the ring,
it moves away
like you.
THESE POEMS ARE TAKEN FROM THE SAND PUBLICATION
THE PICTURE FROM HERE
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