Hair


We tried to live like different people.
Isn't it a lovely neighbourhood we said as the sun began to set in the distant field. 
And what a lovely new house we said.

Rachael lights up a cigarette, “It stinks!” I shouted to my wife, “Please stop smoking.”
She ignored me.
It did stink.
But the drink stank the most why does she deny it?
I find the vodka behind the toilet, I can see the Gin on top of the cupboard.
“I enjoy the occasional drink” she enthused. 
I believed her.

We were looking out of our bedroom window.
I said to my wife that those people with hair like that are all smelly and that I'd never get my 
hair done like that as long as she didn't want me to. She agreed. This was after we managed 
to resolve flying accusations about me having an affair with Sally, with whom I work. 
There was no truth in it.

We were invited to a party that night. My wife, Katriana was in buoyant mood, looking forward 
to it.
I wasn't.
My hair had gone all wrong from the ‘Just for Men’ I'd used. I looked like a bald man with a 
hair hat.

Katriana said, "Nip down the road, Lucas, and get it sorted in the local salon by Margaret.” 
Margaret was Katriana’s best friend.

I told her it was a woman's salon. She said it would be fine.

I went.

I left the house not knowing why I'd left to go to a woman's salon, nor why I wanted to go to 
this dinner party. Yet I kept on walking, somehow it's all I could do.
I saw Sally with whom I work in the street.
She called me over and asked where I was headed.
I said the woman's salon to fix my hair hat.
She told me she could fix it, that she had just started a job at the salon and she'd do it for a 
discounted rate.
I immediately took her up on her invitation.

We went into the salon and she put blonde highlights in my hair.

I don't think I liked it.

This is the hair that I earlier told my wife makes people look all smelly and that I'd never do it.
And it wasn't Katriana's best friend Margaret who did it for me either, it was Sally, the woman 
with whom I had been accused of adultery.

How could I return home now?
In the space of one journey, I have caused enough damage to potentially ruin my marriage.
How could I go home now knowing what might happen?

I went home.

In fact I remember running home and slipping on a little bit of dog poo but it didn't bother me, I 
just wanted to get home.

Katriana opened the door and as I walked in. Treading the poo all over the carpet and 
donning my horrible hair-cut, I quickly prevented my wife from talking with a gently hand over 
her mouth and I said “I love you.”

“I love you.”

We kissed erotically which transcended into a passionate love making session the likes of 
which I have never experienced before.

Afterwards I looked at her soft face, her innocent eyes and delicate lips and it was at that 
point that I realised it wasn't my wife.

I had in fact gone into the wrong house upon returning from the Salon.

It was indeed Sally's house.

After realising this terrible tragedy of mistaken identity I began to walk home - to my home.

Katriana was sitting on the steps with her mascara running down her face her hair a mess, a 
cigarette in hand.
I approached her.
She took a drag of her cigarette and blew it to the side of her face. It stunk she was a mess.

I was a mess. I stunk.

We took another look at our lovely house, our lovely neighbourhood.

It wasn't lovely.

It was hardly a neighbourhood.

In a way, our degraded states were a truer reflection on our lives than the pretence we were 
upholding before.

I had an affair. I like this hair.

She likes smoking, she's an alcoholic.

We live in a run down council estate.

We sat there like messy human beings, in a messy house, in a messy neighbourhood, and never felt 
more at home.

Goodbye Lucas and Katriana
Welcome back Luke and Kate.